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March 14, 2022

Episode 38: Slave No More with Paul Henderson

Episode 38: Slave No More with Paul Henderson

In this episode, DJ talks with author and motivational speaker, Paul Henderson, about overcoming emotions and past experiences associated with difficult beginnings and how we will become better parents when we stop allowing our past or what we deem as lack of opportunity to dictate our future. Listen in as he explains that mindset will keep you in anguish and victimhood or help you flourish and thrive… depending on how you choose to see your circumstances. 

Paul A. Henderson is a Dean of Students, sports chaplain, author, and motivational speaker. He is a former track and field athlete at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Paul blogs at Fatherhood on the Fly, where his slogan is, “We’re learning, we’re growing, and we’re getting better one day at a time.” He uses a combination of encouragement and humor from daily experiences with his boys to inspire dads from different backgrounds to embrace the journey of fatherhood and all that comes with it.

Slave No More: Conquering the Master Within, Paul’s first book, was released January 4, 2022.

Paul is married to Kierra, and they have four sons, PJ, Joey, David, and Noah.

 TIMESTAMPS
• [11:36] “It starts with a decision, a decision to say, you know, what, I'm not going to be “enslaved to my past” or I'm not going to continue to allow myself to be a victim of my past. Yes, My past is my past.”
• [14:35] Paul speaks about not letting not letting one negative “play” to define you… what sets you apart is how you respond to it.
• [16:46] Paul explains that you have to surround yourself with the people who are where you want to be… 
• [31:06] Paul describes what he feels makes a successful parent… 

Did you have difficult beginnings that you’ve had to overcome and change your mindset about in order to succeed in life and parenthood? Tell us about it and tag us on Facebook or Instagram @littleheartsacademy!

For more information on the Imperfect Heroes podcast, visit:  https://www.imperfectheroespodcast.com/

Connect with Us!

DJ Stutz -
DJ Stutz: https://www.littleheartsacademyusa.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/littleheartsacademy/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littleheartsacademy/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOpphCRklDJiFXdS76U0LSQ

Paul Henderson -
Website: https://paulanthonyhenderson.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fatherhood_onthefly/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Fatherhood0nTheFly
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pahenderson2/

WEBINAR LINK: Parent/Teacher Conferences, What to ask, What to share.  https://www.littleheartsacademyusa.com/parent-teacher-conferences-what-to-ask-and-what-to-share

Paul's book https://www.amazon.com/Slave-No-More-Conquering-Master-ebook/dp/B09HQW6MQT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3SPLUTTS8C7ZZ&keywords=slave+no+more&qid=1646711955&s=books&sprefix=Slave+No+%2Cstripbooks%2C118&sr=1-1

Transcript

DJ Stutz  0:14  
You're listening to Episode 38 of Imperfect Heroes, Insights Into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in an imperfect world. I'm your host, DJ Stutz. And in today's episode, I'm talking with educator and author Paul Henderson. Paul is a Dean of Students, a sports chaplain, an author, and a motivational speaker. He is also a former track and field athlete at Virginia Commonwealth University. Paul has a blog, at fatherhood on the fly, where his slogan is, we're learning we're growing, and we're getting better one day at a time. He uses a combination of encouragement and humor from daily experiences with his boys to inspire dads from different backgrounds to embrace the journey of fatherhood, and all that comes with it. Paul's first book, Slave No More - Conquering The Master Within was released just this last January 4. He's married to a sweetheart Kira, and they have four sons, PJ, Joey, David, and Noah. And there's so much to learn. So let's get started.

I think it happens quite frequently. And I know it happens to me. There are times when the emotions and experiences of my past come back to haunt me, there are reminders that I'm not good enough that experiences in my past have closed doors and opportunities. And even though I have worked to overcome these mental processes, they will occasionally raise their ugly head in the back of my mind. Paul's book Slave No More - Conquering The Master Within has an amazing message to those who have difficult beginnings to overcome. And the truth is, we all become better parents when we stop allowing our past or what we deem as lack of opportunity to dictate our future. Paul reminds us that we are able to make a future for ourselves and our family that defies our past. Let's listen in. 

I am joined here today with Paul Henderson, author, educator, and amazing imperfect hero. And he wrote a book called Slave No More - Conquering The Master within. And I read this book. And I love this book. It is written so simply that it's easy to go through. It's easy to read. It's an engaging story. But it just has such an amazing message. And I'm excited for Paul to help us understand that message and what it means to us in our lives. So Paul, would you introduce yourself, talk to us about your family and what you do and what you bring.

Paul Henderson  3:28  
Okay, thanks a lot to us. I'm so excited to be here to be here with you. I'm so excited to have this opportunity to share with you and I'd like I said I'm Paul Henderson, author of Slave No More - Conquering The Master Within but before that book ever came along, I was married to my beautiful bride here. My beautiful bride here we have we've been married for 10 years. We have four boys, TJ nine, Joey seven, David will be five next month and Noah will be two here in a couple of months. So things are definitely definitely rocking and rolling here. Household that do many quiet moments not to be quiet moments at all. And then professionally, I'm the Dean of Students at a small private school here in Richmond, Virginia. I absolutely love it absolutely love having the opportunity to work with students from pre k up to eighth grade. And I'd say you what, it's a journey that to see my children in the same school where the dean and quite honestly, getting to play a father role to so many of the children within our school is more of a blessing that I can even put into words.

DJ Stutz  4:36  
Yeah, there's something magical about being involved and knowing as a teacher that you do have a huge influence on these kids and how they look at themselves how they look at the world. It's so rewarding.

Paul Henderson  4:50  
Oh yeah, absolutely. Just walking from we have our campus we have about four or five different buildings and sometimes walking from one building to the next And just hearing the first page just scream my name. No. Hey, Mr. Henderson. Hey, Mr. Henderson. I can't tell you what there does to be every time I hear that. I mean, it's, I can't even really put it into words. And then sometimes I may be having a rough day. But seeing this child so happy just to see me walking, they have no idea with thinking about it. There's nothing like the sound of a child playing when a playground to tell you that what

DJ Stutz  5:24  
about the truth. So sometimes I'll walk out, I'll be taking my pre K's out to recess and have a third grader come running up to me miss. Tags just, there could be all kinds of things going wrong during the day, but those hugs man they they write

Paul Henderson  5:43  
every single time. Like I know, we're supposed to be social distancing. But you know, I'll let you get this this little gotta tell you what I can't put into words. Sometimes I'll just crack my window open, just so that I can hear the kids on the playground. It's an amazing thing.

DJ Stutz  5:59  
Yeah, that would be a dream for me to have a house that backed up to an elementary school. Right? Kids? Yeah. So let's talk about the message of your book, because it is so important and pertinent to today. And as parents struggle with their own life experiences, and all of us have things that we need to overcome. Some have bigger things than others. But it doesn't minimize anybody's. We're all dealing with our own life experience. And so talk to me a minute about that message in your book.

Paul Henderson  6:39  
Yes, no slave no more concrete and master within I guess what the backstory is, is I was actually a history major at Virginia Commonwealth University, a lot of what I studied were the slavery, you know, slavery in the Caribbean of slavery in the Americas on slavery in the United States of America. And what what happened is, I always see things like the, you know, Lincoln issuing the Emancipation Proclamation, and then you will see some slaves who just went and they fought for it, and they, they got their freedom, and they live life for themselves. And then there were others, who, although they were free, went back and worked for the same slave master. And that was always intriguing to me. And then as somebody who does watch the society, I will see that very same trend, people, I will see Person A with a given set of circumstances, and then I will see Person B with the same set of circumstances, the person A is chosen to thrive and to build off whatever those circumstances were, well, person B, just kept focusing on what would happen to them. And the more I begin to think about that, and I will see it in different situations that in the book, we talked about, just the schools that refused to integrate and how the lady within my book, how she made she, she founded vision, she made it through, we end up having a four year career. But at the same time, students within her same class, they dropped out, and they're still talking 50 years later about what what happened. You know, so is something about that vision is something about that mindset, and I think is something about a powerful vision, a strong vision that I've learned in writing this book that I strive to share with my own children, how can you have a strong vision? How can you keep it in front of you, in order to go to a brighter future?

DJ Stutz  8:20  
Exactly. And I love the way that you concentrate on those. What is it that made someone overcome just horrible circumstances and you do what you've got to do to survive? And there were several characters within the book that I was just like, oh my gosh, you know, listening to their stories. I have a personal friend. I think she's the best teacher I've ever seen. She's amazing. She grew up in Georgia. She was the oldest her mom had six daughters. All the daughters have different dads. Her dad is a drug dealer. Her grandmother was murdered within the home that she was in at the time. I'm a just a story. But she determined that was not going to be her. Her mom was 16 when she had her. And she knew Jesus. Like I knew education was my way out. Day after she graduated from high school. She had worked enough, was able to have a car, she took off and got herself in college. She has a master's degree. And like I said, She's the best teacher I've ever seen. She relates to kids. In a way I only wish I could reach them.

Paul Henderson  9:34  
Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's that thing. That's exactly what it is. Right? There's it's funny, the lady who I've mentioned who's similar situation. I actually just left her house right before speaking with you. Yeah, yes, she watches my children in a book. Her name is Rosa Rodgers. And she actually watched my two youngest children today. So every time I see her, I'm reminded of what it looks like to be an overcomer. She's an overcomer. She's retired now. But what if she would have kept focused on what happened to me? You know, they closed my school Citadel for five years because they didn't want to integrate. Know, she saw the picture, or actually not a picture, she saw a nurse dressed in all white. And she said, You know what? I want to know what she does. I want to know what she does. And I want to do what she does. And that vision was enough to give her the fight, and the drive to, you know, to fight on through, not without bumps in the road, you know, not not without bumps The Road Not, not without trials. But it's something about having a strong vision that can help steer you towards your goals.

DJ Stutz  10:37  
Absolutely. So as we're talking about this, we might have parents who are listening, that had very difficult childhoods. And this goes across all cultures. Sure, sure. All cultures have people within those circumstances. But how can they because then you just see that cycle of abuse or poverty or looking at the negative all the time, and just saying bad things happen to me? Why do bad things always happen to me? So you're kind of putting it out there. And it's a self fulfilling prophecy? And so now your kids are involved in kind of the same cycle that you were involved in? Right? What advice would you have to a parent who's trying to overcome something like that?

Paul Henderson  11:28  
Yeah, that's a great question. That's a great question. And what I would say is that, in my opinion, it starts with a decision. It starts with a decision, a decision to say, you know, what, I'm not going to be, quote, unquote, enslaved to my past, or I'm not going to continue to allow myself to be a victim of my past. Yes, My past is my past. Yes, you know, whatever happened, it hurt, I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Oh, whatever it is that you feel about your past that you don't like, it's okay to acknowledge it. But don't allow it to have you don't allow that past, have you, whatever that past hurt is, or whatever that past struggle is that you've dealt with that you've seen from generation to generation, be a cycle and your family, you don't have to allow it to have you. And that starts with a decision. Now to think about when you make a decision, you may not necessarily have the roadmap of how you're going to walk of how you're going to break that cycle, you may not have the roadmap right in front of you. But if you make that decision, it's amazing. All of a sudden, as you're living life, knowing that you've made a decision and you keep it in front of you, you will see, you'll begin to find solutions, you'll begin to find solutions, you will begin to be attracted to people who have a like mine, you'll see this person with finger, you know, with a atmosphere you like, you know what this person seems like an overcomer, too. And then all of a sudden, you're able to have a conversation with that person. And you're able to hear how they overcame it. And all of a sudden, you may have more ideas of how you be more of an overcomer. And every step you make, you're taking another step of breaking that cycle, you take another step of breaking that cycle. But it all started with a single decision that I'm not going to allow my past and my past family cycles to have me.

DJ Stutz  13:19  
Right. Well, and I think to you make that decision. And it doesn't mean that you're totally going to be able to change your behaviors and your attitudes overnight.

Paul Henderson  13:29  
There's absolutely setbacks, right?

DJ Stutz  13:30  
Sure. Sure. Sure. Well, if that wasn't what I wanted to do, or whatever, right, and you don't let it beat yourself up over it. Right. Right, learn from it, and then move forward, correct? Oh,

Paul Henderson  13:45  
absolutely. Part of my background as well. As a former athlete, I ran track and field and I did Sports Minister, sports Chaplain work for eight years from the middle school, high school collegiate all the way up to the NFL level. And I love watching sports. That's like one of my favorite hobbies, one of my favorite things to do. And it's amazing. Get the Thomas record and we have a Super Bowl coming up. And one thing that I really enjoy is watching how the Super Bowl plays out. Okay? So there's always going to be a winner, there's always going to be a loser. But if you look at the winner of past Super Bowls, they go in with that mindset. Yes, we're going to win today. Yes, we're going to win today. But does that mean they score a touchdown on every play? No. Do they get a first down when every play? No. Sometimes they may have a turnover or a negative plate if you will. But if you allow that one negative play to define you, you're not going to be calling yourself Super Bowl champions by the end of the game. So if you have a negative play or a negative experience on life, is how you respond to it. You make up your mind, you know what? I made a mistake here. But rather than focusing on the mistake, I'm going to see if I can figure out how I'm gonna see if I can learn from it. So the next time I'm faced with this same decision, you know what, I'm able to progress a little bit better, I'm able to, to move a little bit better. And, you know, these are all steps of living that victorious life.

DJ Stutz  15:12  
Absolutely. I think one of the things that is kind of frightening when you're making these decisions and you're turning your life is that you're gonna wind up leaving certain people behind, because they're not willing to come along. And they're dragging you back through dragging you back, like people who are dealing with alcoholism or drug addiction, and they'll go to the rehab center, get clean. The ones who tend to be more successful, though, are the ones who don't go back to their old friends. Sure, they surround themselves by people who are going to support them in not drinking, who won't drink around them if they go out to dinner. And so they they have to leave what they think is an important part of them, those associations behind and that can be very scary to, what do you have to say to people about that part?

Paul Henderson  16:17  
Sure, yeah, I'm a firm believer that you're a product of your environment. So I know people who have had drug problems, and also know people who have overcome their drug problems with a challenge that they've had with drugs. And a big, big part of the people who will have learned and who I've met, who have fellowship with who I've spent time with who have overcome is after they've come out of, you know, whether it's a program or after they've come out of that type of lifestyle, they had to learn to surround themselves with people who are where they want to be, you know, people who aren't addicted to drugs, or whatever the case is. Because it's almost like you know, what you want, you have to know what you want. And then you find people, you find an atmosphere of people who are moving in that direction. And then what's going to happen, like, for example, when I was going to track and field at VCU, I want to hang around the guys who are scoring in conference, I want to hang around the guys who are constantly improving their times, I didn't want to hang around the guys who didn't care who weren't traveling, we always had the guys that traveled every weekend, we had guys that didn't travel every weekend, I wanted to hang around the guys that were traveling every weekend, because they had a certain focus about them, they had a certain determination, they had a certain discipline. And if I want to be a part of that group, I need to hang around them. And I'm able to learn what they're doing, seeing what they're doing. And I'm able to learn from their experiences and to make their experiences my own.

DJ Stutz  17:43  
Right. And so let's say you've got your kids, and you're raising them, you're in a neighborhood that is probably not conducive to great parenting, there may be gangs around you, or violence or whatever, and you feel stuck there. You're just kind of in that pattern. So you're yelling at your kids all the time, because you're frustrated about money and keeping a roof over their head, and am I feeding my kids, and we get thinking about that, that we forget to build the relationship part with our kids, and building up their self esteem and supporting their academics and all of that, or maybe you didn't graduate from high school, or you don't feel like you can really support your child in their academics. So what do you do?

Paul Henderson  18:35  
Yeah, no, that's a great question. That's a great question. So first and foremost, I'll just go back to it starts with that decision. So if you are in an environment, that's not exactly where you want to be, first, you have to make a decision for yourself to say, You know what, yes, this is my environment, but I'm not going to allow my environment to have me. Now, if you're in a situation like that, it's almost guaranteed there will be bumps in the road, as you're trying to make your way out of that environment. There may be more bumps in the road for you than there would be another person who's not surrounded by that environment. But for you, if you're in that situation, you have to first and foremost, you made the decision. More likely you're going to mess up. More than likely, you may say some things to your children that you're that you that you're going to regret. But I'll tell you one thing, and this is something I've learned and I strive to live by it's one thing to tell our children to own up to their mistakes. It's another thing for our children to see us own up to our mistakes, especially when it involves our mistakes regarding them. Absolutely. I've made mistakes with my children I've you know, maybe asked them did you do this and in my mind, I'm like, son, I know you did this it all signs point that you Drop this or that you mess this up. And he's like, No, Daddy, I didn't do it in I really want to say you know that FM. I feel like, I feel like, I know I didn't do this, but I feel like I'm lying. But I knew I didn't do it. And I had to take a step back and say, You know what, my son is telling the truth. And if I know my son to tell me the truth, and I've been hard on him, you know, sometimes I heard a guy say this one time, he said, If you want to soar with eagles, sometimes you got to eat a little crow. and not learn that. It's okay for me to say, Son, I dropped the ball, I put a lot on you that didn't belong there. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had a lot going on today at work, or whatever it is. And I dropped the ball, and I was way too hard on you. When our children see us do that, even in rough environments, guess what they're learning. They're learning not just about what somebody's saying, not just by whistling in some books. They're seeing it in my example. And, um, yeah, so it's definitely example, you make that decision. And then there are certain things that you can also do, if you're in that hard environment, there are certain things that you can do to change the environment with within your own home. What type of music are you listening to, is to music that you're listening to helping to prepare prepare you for? What are you reading? You know, are you reading things that? Are you reading negative content? Or are you reading materials, you know, you might not be able to move now. But you can't control what goes into here? Are you reading books or articles that that are helping you to have a winning mindset? So these are things that you can do? While you feel like you're stuck in that environment? You're still working on your mindset that will eventually help you get out of that environment?

DJ Stutz  21:41  
Yeah. And I don't know how close to reality, they say, based on a true story. And might be Yeah, they had a dog that name. And that's their basis in reality. But I recently saw the movie King Richard. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And he was in a horrible environment. And yet, he was so involved with those girls, and working with them. And you saw that outside world, trying to push their way into his life. And the things that he did, then some of them seemed extreme, but man, he got those kids out. And it's not just the to Serena and Venus, but the other girls were successful as well. And sometimes it takes that level, I think of determination. And you have to ask yourself, Do I have that in me?

Paul Henderson  22:35  
Right, right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it's funny, because I actually have not seen that yet. But I've read so much about your story. That everything that you're saying I'm like, yep, yep. Yep. Absolutely. And it's something about have deep burning desire, in you that strong vision in you, that will help to propel you forward. Some people will look at like say, say a public tennis court, my man, he's a terrible tennis courts have fallen into anybody want to play here. With him, he sees this man, this is this, this is awesome. I can bring my girls on here we can learn because I could teach them how to hit the ball or whatever it is. And but that's that's in anything. That's it. That's it that's in any, any field, you know, isn't that how do you look at things? You know, how do you if you're like, I don't have any positive books I have, or you can find a positive article, a positive article that will help lead you in the right direction. We're living in a time where we have access to so much, that can be a good thing. And that can be a bad thing, because the information is everywhere. But it's always our choice. What do we choose to put in our minds where we choose to put in our hearts? And that's something that we do have control over? Absolutely.

DJ Stutz  23:43  
Yeah. You know, it's true that I laugh at it. My mom was raised by Lumberjacks. Honest to goodness Paul Bunyan, lumberjacks, Jax, yeah, yes. And my pops had a seventh grade education. And my mom's generation, he made sure that his kids all graduated from high school. And that was a really big deal for them, because no one before them had. And there was alcoholism, you know, all through. It's a hard life. That's a hard life that they live. But it's interesting that all three of his girls and then I have an uncle too. But all three of the girls married. Well, they marry good men, and they were holding out to find men who had that vision that you're talking about. And so my dad actually wound up with a PhD from Berkeley in electro chemical engineering.

Paul Henderson  24:50  
It's a long way from from a lumberjack.

DJ Stutz  24:53  
Exactly. And both her sisters married engineers as well. But on top of being able to pray provide for their family. They were just decent kind men. So that was a blessing that they gave to their posterity to their kids. And so I think there's something really that you say about surrounding yourself, and where are you going to make friends? Are you going out to clubbing? Are you going out? spending too much time at the bar? You know what I'm saying?

Paul Henderson  25:27  
Right, right?

DJ Stutz  25:28  
Or are there other places? Where do you go to find people who have the vision that you're wanting to be a part of and to learn from? Unless church?

Paul Henderson  25:38  
Right, therefore,

DJ Stutz  25:40  
maybe the PTA or PTO or whatever it is that you have? There are community centers, right?

Paul Henderson  25:48  
Absolutely. Absolutely. There's so many places where you can meet people who are have that for fission. I remember when I was working, doing a sports ministry that the group was called fellowship was still this Fellowship of Christian Athletes. I remember just being out there fundraising. And because I had had to raise money, not just to do the, you know, the activities or projects that we wanted to do, but also to raise money or money for my salary, which was fairly challenging. But I remember something like sometimes I would be like, say, at a Panera, this is a true story. I was at a Panera Bread. And I looked at a guy. And now granted, this is me, just being just a bit a little bold, I saw a guy, he has a very nice shoes on, I stuck my hand on shook his hand. And you know what, I left that organization, you know, five, five and a half years ago, and that guy, and we're still friends to this day, you know, he's actually a real estate agent. I didn't had no idea at the time. But he's a real estate agent who's been helping my wife, and that, you know, what some things that we're looking to do. There was another time, I was at a, like a seven or seven football, like passing tournament type of league, whatever. And I had to speak and speak for like five or 10 minutes to just, you know, a bunch of high school boys. And after I end up speaking to him, there was another guy out there, just kind of standing out in his own family, he actually looks like he might be pretty successful. Now granted, me I'm telling you the good stories, I'm not telling you all the bad stories about the times I've met people, when they looked at me like I was crazy. But once again, I stuck my hand out, I shook his hand. And to this day, that was probably eight, nine years ago, not only have I been working with them, but my wife has had a contract with them for the past seven years, all because one day, I stuck my hand out and shook his hand. Now, my point is saying that if you have that strong desire, but you don't know where to go, like you say, it might be a PTA meeting, there may be another parent that's there who has had their share of success, and you have do do have something in common. Whether you think it or not, you have something in common. You have a child at that school, you know, you have a child at that school, that parent has a child at a school, that's tough, that you haven't common. That's your Avenue, right there to a conversation. You never know where it'll lead. You know, you've mentioned church, there could be networking groups or networking events. And sometimes it does take a little bold and I heard somebody call it this one time, they said, maybe just having 10 seconds of courage, say for the next 10 seconds, I'm going to be courageous, as nervous as I might be, almost stick my hand out there and shake somebody's hand because you never know where to lead.

DJ Stutz  28:21  
Absolutely. Well, and I think to you, and I want to the several things that we have in common is that we're both people of faith. Right? And I really do think that faith can have a huge role in this. And if you don't know how to get out of a situation, and you take it to the Lord, and you're open to whatever promptings you get through the Holy Spirit, that you can get a direction to go and something inside might say, go shake that person's hand.

Paul Henderson  28:59  
Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I'll never forget the day I met Aaron that that was the only time I ever saw him at one of those football events. I never saw him out there again. You know, what, I still see him to this day. To this day, I still see him out. He will work with him, the more he and his wife, they work with my wife, and they're working on projects and everything. Please started with me just say am I saying? Hey, my name is Paul. You know, they've been fans of ours as my wife and I have been trying to figure out this thing called life and raising all these children. They've been fans. They've been fans of ours ever since they cheered us on. They encouraged us put a start up with that simple handshake. And I really feel like you said I really feel like Holy Spirit led me to him to him that day as he was just kind of standing there by himself. It's amazing how that all plays out,

DJ Stutz  29:45  
isn't it?

Paul Henderson  29:45  
It is absolutely

DJ Stutz  29:47  
do love that. So, Paul, where are some ways that we can find your book and find what you're involved in?

Paul Henderson  29:57  
Sure, sure. So my website is Paul Anthony. henderson.com That's Paul Anthony henderson.com. That's my website and I'm on Instagram at fatherhood underscore on the fly. That's fatherhood underscore on the fly. That's one of my favorite things that started that blog. According one minute video clips after coaching my son's soccer game, you know, where rather than chasing the soccer ball, they were chasing butterflies in the athlete, and he was going nuts, because the goal is right there the goal? That's right. But it was an absolute blast. I'm also I'm on LinkedIn, and I'm on my Facebook, and so you can find me there as well. But primarily, a lot of my stuff is on on Instagram, at a fatherhood on the fly.

DJ Stutz  30:39  
Okay, and so we're gonna go ahead and put all of that information in our show notes. So if you didn't have a pen and paper at the ready, no worries, just scroll on down. And you'll get all that information in our show notes. So, Paul, before we go, I always ask my guests the same question. And that is, how would you describe a successful parent?

Paul Henderson  31:05  
How would I describe a successful parent? You know, a lot of times with my blog, if I record a video always ended by saying, we're learning. We're growing. And we're getting better one day at a time. We're learning we're growing and we get better one day at a time, I define a successful parent as one who chooses to get a little bit better every day. And if you mess up, it's okay. Learn from it. And let's do better tomorrow. You know, and I think that's staffing fast, successful parents love it loving your children being available. Let's just get a little bit better every day.

DJ Stutz  31:44  
I love that one of the great resources that parents have to learn how to get better every day is of course my podcast.

Paul Henderson  31:55  
Absolutely, absolutely.

DJ Stutz  31:57  
But you know, there are many out there. And there are many ways to learn. And so you bring that up just so beautifully. Thank you so much. So we look forward to hearing from you again, I'm sure. And I'm so excited for the things that you're involved in. And again, really, I highly recommend his books, slave no more conquering the master within, you can read it. I don't know, I'm a slow reader. I kind of chew on my words, Faster Reader could get through it probably just in a day. But I took several days. Yeah, I'm just a slow reader. I just absorb things. But it is such a great book. And it's such a fantastic message within I just really loved the message. And I loved how I felt after I finished it. I felt so encouraged and all things are possible. It's just Am I willing to put in the time? And

Unknown Speaker  32:59  
yeah, and I think we've put this out there. I'm sorry. Um, you asked like, Where can we get the book? And of course Barnes and Noble Amazon Books a Million and good reason. Any of your local retailers. You can you can get the book. Just just type in to Slave No More - Conquering The Master Within and my name, you'll you'll find it. It'll it'll pop up. Awesome.

DJ Stutz  33:17  
Yeah, I hope people do that a lot, because the message is just fun. And amazing. Thank you so much for spending some time with us today.

Paul Henderson  33:28  
It's been an absolute pleasure, an absolute joy. And I'm so honored that you had me on your program.

DJ Stutz  33:34  
Now once I heard about this, I knew I had to have you on. So thanks again. And we will talk to you again. I'm sure sometime.

Paul Henderson  33:43  
Looking forward to absolutely looking forward to it. All right.

DJ Stutz  33:46  
I am so pleased that Paul and I have crossed paths. His message just resonates with my soul. And I believe that by learning from others that have overcome very difficult obstacles, and have found a path to success reminds me that those paths are available to me and to everyone who has the tenacity to keep trying. We don't have to be victims of our past. But we can become the masters of our future. If we are willing to make the choice and open our eyes. The path may not be the one we first planned, but there's always a way to get there. Imagine the example that you can set for your children. Imagine the parent that you will become as you see opportunities open and your life becomes more stable. All of Paul's contact information and a link to finding his book are in the show notes. And I highly recommend his book and while you're looking over the show notes, go ahead and follow the show and leave a rating and review. Taking time to give the podcast a five Star rating, and a review makes the podcast easier to find. And then we're able to help more families. Have you hit follow yet? Make sure you are following the podcast so you don't miss anything. And the follows along with the ratings, and reviews, help people find us. 

Are you up to date on all things Imperfect Heroes, register for my free newsletter at www.littleheartsacademyusa.com and never miss a beat. So parent teacher conferences will be here before you know it. I know that I'm doing mine this week. And do you know how to have a conference that lets you in on how your child is truly doing? What questions do you need to ask? What information does your teacher need to know? You can get this information and much more on a one hour webinar called getting the most from important teacher conversations. And you can find this webinar on my website. But I'm actually going to put a link in the show notes that will take you directly to the webinar. And for right now. I'm offering it for free. That won't last forever, but it's for free right now. 

Next week, I'm talking with Lisa Sugarman, who is a columnist, a radio host, and an author of the book, How to Raise Perfectly Imperfect Kids And Be Okay With It. On time, parent anxiety, and Lisa shares how to become a better parent by understanding that it's okay that things aren't perfect. It's okay that your kids mess up once in a while, and it's okay that you mess up once in a while too. So learn what I mean by turning into our next episode. And until then, let's find joy in parenting.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Paul A. Henderson Profile Photo

Paul A. Henderson

Author

Paul A. Henderson is a Dean of Students, sports chaplain, author, and motivational speaker. He is a former track and field athlete at Virginia Commonwealth University.

Paul blogs at Fatherhood on the Fly, where his slogan is, “We’re learning, we’re growing, and we’re getting better one day at a time.” He uses a combination of encouragement and humor from daily experiences with his boys to inspire dads from different backgrounds to embrace the journey of fatherhood and all that comes with it.

Slave No More: Conquering the Master Within, Paul’s first book, was released January 4, 2022.

Paul is married to Kierra, and they have four sons, PJ, Joey, David, and Noah.