May 19, 2025

The Gift of Failure: Why Letting Your Kids Fail Can Be the Best Lesson

The Gift of Failure: Why Letting Your Kids Fail Can Be the Best Lesson
Hi parents! It’s DJ Stutz here, and today I want to talk about something that might feel counterintuitive: letting your kids experience failure. As parents, it’s natural to want to protect our children from disappointment, but failure can be one of the greatest teachers in life. Let’s explore how to help your kids view setbacks as opportunities to grow.
First, shift the narrative around failure. Instead of treating it as something to avoid, frame it as a natural and necessary part of learning. Share stories from your own life where failure led to valuable lessons or eventual success. For example, “I didn’t get the job I wanted, but it helped me find something even better.”
Encourage your kids to take risks and try new things, even if there’s a chance they might fail. Whether it’s auditioning for a school play or tackling a challenging puzzle, the experience itself is what counts. Let them know that it’s okay to feel disappointed and that those feelings are valid.
When failure happens, focus on the process, not just the outcome. Ask reflective questions like, “What do you think went wrong?” or “What would you do differently next time?” This approach helps kids see failure as a learning opportunity rather than a dead end.
Celebrate effort and perseverance. Instead of saying, “You failed your math test,” say, “I’m proud of you for working so hard. Let’s figure out how we can improve together.” Recognizing their hard work builds resilience and motivates them to keep going.
Finally, model resilience yourself. When you face challenges, let your kids see how you handle them. Show them that setbacks are temporary and that persistence often leads to success. Letting your kids fail isn’t easy, but it’s one of the best ways to prepare them for life’s ups and downs.
Have tips or stories about how failure has helped your child grow? Share them with me—I’d love to hear from you!
 
 
 
Parenting
DJ Stutz Profile Photo

DJ Stutz

Parenting Coach, Author, Speaker, Podcast Host, Early Childhood Specialist

DJ Stutz, an Early Childhood Specialist and devoted advocate for children's rights and education, brings over two decades of teaching experience, specializing in Special Education and Music. Her expertise extends beyond the classroom, with roles as a 911 dispatcher and a parenting facilitator for the Clark County Division of Family and Youth Services. A parent herself and actively engaged in PTA leadership, including the presidency of the Nevada State PTA, DJ is dedicated to enhancing parental involvement in education. Her advocacy includes organizing a Nevada commission to improve Latino fathers' participation in education. Recognized as "Citizen of The Month" in 2008, DJ has testified before commissions, collaborated with Senator Ted Kennedy, and led international support groups. Now, through workshops, classes, coaching sessions, and her podcast, "Imperfect Heroes – Insights Into Parenting," DJ empowers parents to navigate the joys and challenges, fostering independence, productivity, and happiness in their children.

Discover insights, guidance, and practical tips on the following diverse parenting topics through DJ's one-on-one coaching, her speaking engagements, her courses offered at https://www.littleheartsacademyusa.com/ and her informative podcast, Imperfect Heroes offered at https://www.imperfectheroespodcast.com/

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